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Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray Hardcover – Illustrated, February 1, 2016

by Helen Fisher (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 405 ratings
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A contemporary classic about love now completely revised and updated.

First published in 1992, Helen Fisher’s “fascinating” (New York Times) Anatomy of Love quickly became a classic. Since then, Fisher has conducted pioneering brain research on lust, romantic love, and attachment; gathered data on more than 80,000 people to explain why you love who you love; and collected information on more than 30,000 men and women on sexting, hooking up, friends with benefits, and other current trends in courtship and marriage. And she presents a new, scientifically based and optimistic perspective on relationships in our digital age―what she calls “slow love.”

This is a cutting-edge tour de force that traces human family life from its origins in Africa over 20 million years ago to the Internet dating sites and bedrooms of today. And it’s got it all: the copulatory gaze and other natural courting ploys; the who, when, where, and why of adultery; love addictions; her discovery of four broad chemically based personality styles and what each seeks in romance; the newest data on worldwide (biologically based) patterns of divorce; how and why men and women think differently; the real story of women, men, and power; the rise―and fall―of the sexual double standard; and what brain science tells us about how to make and keep a happy partnership.

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Previous page
  1. Print length
    464 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    W. W. Norton & Company
  4. Publication date
    February 1, 2016
  5. Dimensions
    6.6 x 1.5 x 9.6 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    9780393285222
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0393285222
  8. Lexile measure
    1270L
  9. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Is romantic love a creation of troubadours and poets, or has it deep evolutionary roots? Is the seven-year itch really the four-year itch? Does true love betray itself in a brain scanner? With the eyes of an anthropologist and the voice of a poet, Helen Fisher lays bare the many worlds and ages of erotic love. And she knows whereof she speaks."
― Richard Dawkins

"For journalists around the world, Helen Fisher has been the go-to authority on love and heartache since the first edition of Anatomy of Love. No one else knows the human heart so well―or explains it with such wit and style."
― John Tierney, coauthor of Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength

"This book is a marvel. I eagerly read everything Helen Fisher writes. She is a national treasure. So illuminating!"
― John Gottman, author of the revised Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

"Our conversations with Helen Fisher were crucial to understanding the current romantic climate. This revised version of Anatomy of Love is a great read for anyone interested in understanding love and romance. Also, Helen was kind enough to blurb our book, so we’d be real dicks not to do the same for her. Luckily, her work is fantastic and no moral dilemma has been posed."
― Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg, authors of Modern Romance

"Fisher weaves a persuasive and consistently surprising new explanation of the roots of human marriage, sex, and love. Her account cuts more deeply than the ordinary literature on human sexuality."
― Edward O. Wilson

"A natural history filled with entertaining and informative anecdotes and narratives that offer context and background. . . . Highly recommended to readers interested in human sexuality."
― Library Journal

"Much has changed in the landscape of love and dating since the first edition of anthropologist Fisher’s Anatomy of Love was published over 20 years ago . . . [and Fisher] presents plenty of new data. . . . The recent success of comedian Aziz Ansari and sociologist Eric Klinenberg’s Modern Romance (2015) suggests readers might be looking for further, more serious reading on the topic: Fisher’s book and its hundreds upon hundreds of cited sources won’t disappoint them."
― Booklist

About the Author

Helen Fisher , a biological anthropologist, is the author of five internationally selling books, including Why We Love and Why Him? Why Her? A Senior Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute, a member of the Center for Human Evolutionary Studies at Rutgers University, and the chief scientific advisor to Match.com, Fisher is a frequent national and international speaker. Her TED talks have been viewed by more than 10 million people; and she lives in New York City.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0393285227
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ W. W. Norton & Company; Completely Revised and Updated with a New Introduction edition (February 1, 2016)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 464 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780393285222
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0393285222
  • Lexile measure ‏ : ‎ 1270L
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.56 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.6 x 1.5 x 9.6 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 405 ratings

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Helen Fisher

Helen Fisher

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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
405 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Elijah Logozar
5.0 out of 5 stars probably informative
Reviewed in the United States on March 6, 2024
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i read lots of related books some years ago
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Blakely Pete
5.0 out of 5 stars An anthropological guide to understanding why we do what we do
Reviewed in the United States on June 27, 2016
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The author is a biological anthropologist and, sure enough, this book is about the anthropological background of our biology, at least the sex and romance part of it. I highly recommend it.

As a senior who used to be on an Internet dating site (Match.com), I had viewed several of the author’s Ted talks. These were intriguing enough to take a stab at this book in hardcover. To my delight, this book does not repeat the subject matter of her talks. Yes, some aspects of what she references in her talks make an appearance here and there but this work has a different emphasis. The majority of the book is a description of the anthropological history of what the subtitle says—mating, marriage, and why we stray. It is well written, moves at a pleasantly rapid pace, and the anecdotes are well chosen and properly illustrative.

The payoff from these lessons and the reader’s education comes in the final chapter. It is not just a home run, it is a grand slam! Only now, while reading her observations, conclusions, and predictions, the reader understands the foundation and background of each. The result is a credibility missing in a Ted talk or a YouTube video.

A delightful thing about Ms. Fisher is that she never loses sight of the sparkle and magic of romantic love. While the knowledge she communicates in this volume helps the reader to understand why men and women act as they do (including why we stray, if we do), she always focuses on the future, on the next adventure as we seek a new romantic partner. In my view, her take on internet dating sites is exactly accurate. “Internet dating services are not dating services; they are introducing services.” (p. 308) Amen to that. What we do, how we act, where things go after the introduction—that’s still up to us.

It is a rare book that causes a reader to feel, on completion, that he or she better understands human nature. This book merits that praise.
29 people found this helpful
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whj
4.0 out of 5 stars A very good book, a horrible cover....
Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2011
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This is an excellent and very readable book about the phenomena of love, marrige, infidelity, and sexual politics from anthropological perspectives. It is fascinating to see how multiple factors in nature and human interactions-climate changes, anatomical adaptations, settlement and possession of, and need for protection of property, and inventions of major agricultural tools--have formed our behaviors for practical reasons but we often take them for granted or moralize as if they are sacred. (As somebody said "emotions are evolution's executioners".) The book ends with some interesting observations on how our modern society is showing resemblance of the egalitarian hunter-gatherer community. I only wish, coming from my own vanity, that it had a better cover....this one looks like a cheap romance novel...as my friend commented, "the only thing missing is Kim Kardashian."
2 people found this helpful
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ReadsGreatBooks
5.0 out of 5 stars A Fantastic Review of Anthropology
Reviewed in the United States on August 6, 2010
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It's about a month after I've read this book and I can honestly say I'm still thinking about it. Fisher, besides for being one of the world's premier anthropologists, is also an erudite and creative thinker who is able to synthesize information from seemingly unrelated places to generate very compelling arguments.
The only thing to keep in mind is that as an anthropologist first, and a psychobiologist second, Fisher writes the story of love from a mostly social scientific perspective. While she devotes a few sections to the dance of the flirt, and the biology of arousal, the vast majority of the book discusses the development of the monogamous relationship from primate to homo sapien.
The only other thing worth pointing out is that throughout the last third of the book, Fisher gives more or less a summary of anthropology on one foot. I haven't taken anthropology in college, and found this book to adequately fill that void.

Pluses:
-VERY interesting, with original and thought-provoking ideas
-well-researched, with copious footnotes in the back for reference
-Decently well story telling. If the subject matter weren't interesting enough, Fisher's writing provides a reasonable amount of help to move it along

Minuses:
-Sometimes Fisher gets too distracted with her storytelling. She quotes a bit too much tothe point that it takes away from the matter at hand
-Especially towards the end, her inner anthropologist comes out. She writes almost exclusively (and well) about the development of human society and at the end of each chapter inserts a 3-4 page afterthought.

Final thoughts:
A book worth getting and considering seriously. It will change the way you think about modern marriage and give you a great summary of the development of human society. Amazing even if you have already taken anthropology in college, and a must-buy if you haven't.
One person found this helpful
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Rebecca Anderson
5.0 out of 5 stars Took a Class on the Psychology of Love
Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2022
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This was one of the texts for a University class. Watch some of the author's TED talks on YouTube if you're not sure about buying the book. She'll sum up some of the basic ideas in some of the chapters in the TED talks and you can decide if you want to know more!
I was personally a little put off that she did research based off of her dating website, but it's still interesting and worthwhile. She has some great content from other researchers too.
2 people found this helpful
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Bart Hugens
3.0 out of 5 stars Lots'a f cool factoids about attraction
Reviewed in the United States on April 14, 2022
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I've taught college level psychology for 3+ decades, so I knew some of the factoids that the author shared, but she does a wonderful job of layering in anthropology and biology to the psychology of love, passion, boredom, jealously. It's a 3 Star only because I find some of the storytelling to be repetitious, and the writing itself is a bit prolix. Tight editing could probably cut down the # of words by 1/3.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Extraordinary work and research. Thanks Helen Fisher.
Reviewed in Mexico on April 10, 2022
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An extraordinary work and research in such an important subject. It changes the way you think about mating and being in love in both, men and women. Read it.
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N. Stefanie
5.0 out of 5 stars Schnelle Lieferung
Reviewed in Germany on August 3, 2021
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Buch ist schön zu lesen und der Versand ging Blitzschnell.
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Aishwarya Vishwakarma
5.0 out of 5 stars Good quality pages.
Reviewed in Spain on March 7, 2021
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Good quality pages.
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Spies
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book. You will learn a lot by reading it.
Reviewed in Canada on December 23, 2019
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I found this book to be absolutely fascinating. It gives the reader an excellent outline of human evolution and how human sexual behavior can be explained. The book is very well researched and well written.
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K.S.ADARSH
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating to say the least. Incredibly researched, amazing story telling
Reviewed in India on June 16, 2020
Verified Purchase
Love and Sex are understood as somewhat unexplained, yet investiable part of life. This book takes us back 4 million years ago and explains entire journey. I literally saw how we evolved over million years. This book is a treat for one with scientific bent of mind, for one who has interest in anthropolgy, for one who has interest in neuro science, and for one who has intrest in neuro biology. This book is culmination of all the above. A must read.
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