It's Black History Month 2024, and I'm engrossed in "We're Going to Need More Wine" by Gabrielle Union. At the beginning the book, old Gabrielle doesn’t spare young Nickie who yearned to assimilate so deeply into the white and Christian town her father had chosen to live in, that she mistreated or ignored anyone who wasn't white or Christian—whether Black, 'brown', or openly Jewish. She managed to do it so perfectly that her friends, ‘forgetting’ she was black, spoke in racial terms next to her.
She talks about her mother and father, both of whom are still alive, with openness and honest brutality that makes for compelling reading. It’s amazingly non judgemental. I couldn't help but admire Gabriel’s courage in writing about her upbringing.
This non judgmentalism, while serving her in most of the book, rings false when addressing the black community’s unique problems . The way you read of how gangs and their violent culture arrived in Omaha where she is from and where she spent her summers with her grandmother, you’d think the arrival of gangs was inevitable. A force majeure, like the tornadoes - there's nothing you can do about it.
She writes with bravery and honesty about the sexual assault she went through, and sheds light on the experience the post trauma and the ways in which she was lucky - and other rape victims aren’t. The book is worth reading if only for this astounding chapter.
She did get around Hollywood and the name droppings (while still in high school she dated Jason Kidd), are very entertaining (Heath Ledger, anyone?), but not too frequent. This is not a gossipy book. Reading about Prince’s parties is eye opening in the sense of what mingling and connections, so essential always, are taken for granted for some - and totally out of reach for others.
“I always want there to be a point to what I am saying, and I don’t want to bring up the issue of …” she says. In this case she’s talking about ‘colorism’ , a term I wasn’t familiar with and denotes the color scale black people use to measure their worth, within their own community, when light is good and dark is bad. But every chapter in this amazing book which is a group of essays framed into a memoir carries a point and intent- and I loved it.
She drops “black bombs” - speaking home truths about what it is to be a black person in America - to be aware of it, careful with your actions and demeanor - especially if you’re a young black man
I love that she is open about her sexuality. She writes about cheating on her husband (who cheated on her almost from the get-go), she writes about making more money or less money than your partner - and how that might affect the relationship
Favorite quotes:
“One thing about me, I don’t mind notes if they are helpful.”
“I, like many women, know what the hell is wrong with me. Whether we choose to do something about it remains to be seen.”
“I think I can deal effectively with the world precisely because I am a black woman who is so comfortable in my black-womanness. I know what I can accomplish.
And anything I have accomplished, I did so not in spite of being a black woman, but because I am a black woman.”
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Reviews with images
Fantastic short read
"Gabrielle Union's 'We're Going to Need More Wine' isn't just a book – it's a glorious vineyard of stories, laughter, and heartfelt revelations. As a gay black man living in the Bay Area, I felt like I was clinking glasses with Gabrielle herself as she shared her hilarious and poignant journey. From navigating Hollywood to navigating identity, Gabrielle's honesty and humor had me nodding along and occasionally snorting wine out of my nose (oops). So grab a glass (or bottle) and join the party – because trust me, you're going to need more wine for this delightful ride!" 🍷✨
Top reviews from other countries
Aramusinc@
Reáds really well. Very engaging. Missing some parys
Reviewed in Spain on September 1, 2018