Top critical review
1.0 out of 5 starsShort story form review. Summary the Nano sucks royally.
Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2018
Mountain Buggy Nano Review
Say you want a lightweight stroller that really really sucks. Like the 1984 car on a 2017 body that runs and operates like it's an old piece of crap that was a lemon the second you bought it. Will then, this is the stroller for you.
The brake is aligned with your feet as unless you walk like a supermodel with you feet going in and not shoulder width like a normal human being, this crap will lock up because the brake is right where your right for will land.
Oh and don't think that unlocking it will be a cinch, it won't be! You need to apply approximately 2,800,000 lbs of force per square in to knock this thing especially if you are doing anything that would require you to move, which if you have toddler is always; simply passing with your feet will not unlock unlock it unless you are a wizard. No, you may need to pray to every God under the sun to unlock this thing and bargain away your eternal reward, convert and then realize God is as amused as the heathens running Mountain Buggy, laughing at your expense whilst cashing your check.
How to unlock it: get on your hands and knees and simply and perhaps very lightly push the unlock button with your hand, it's really quite easy all you need to unlock it is to be humiliated publicly and question your Hurculean strength and then it will unlock with the gentlest judge from a most compromised public position.
The height of the stroller handle is fixed because we are all a uniform height.
Opening the stroller can be done with a manual, video, cursing, both hands, your partner pushing you out of the way, questioning your religion again, more cursing and then your toddler following your lead in cursing while laughing. As you wipe the tears away and humiliation sets back in you see someone with a cheap crap stroller that costs $35 waltz in and never have a problem opening, closing or wasting an extra $200 on your stroller and the therapy you will need after your purchase. There is no shortcut, this is the only way to open the thing.
Closing the stroller: there are 2 steps
1) push the inconveniently located buttons to swing down the handle and then push the 13 pound weight of a dying star stroller into the N type formation it will not budget into. Watch a YouTube video that shows someone open and close it with unbelievable ease and marvel at fake news and green screen special effects because she is either A) a witch or B) not real. This is still step one. Try this back and forth for 5 minutes while everyone around you wonders if your panic attack is blossoming into a stroke. Again time is very important, don't try any shortcuts. 2) Ask your partner how it closes, when she sends you the YouTube video- throw your phone angrily to ground and try to break the stroller. As the bystanders call child services the Mountain Buggy Nano will, I promise you, close promptly just as the police come to take you away. As you live out the next few months under psychiatric evaluation for PSTD because of your experience with the Mountain Buggy Nano, the ending crumbling of your home life and dignity, and the restraining order keeping you away from wherever your life fell into ruins for the upteemth time because if the Mountain Buggy Nano, you realize that you are safe and loved. Big Pharma owns Mountain Buggy so that you will take their drugs because no matter what society you live in Socialist, Capitalist or anything- the Mountain Buggy Nano will ruin your day or life until it is gone.
So... Join me in not getting a Mountain Buggy Nano...
Who am I kidding. My wife said that we only need it for a few more months before God knows what will happen and then we won't need it.
Until our next kid...
